Stephen M. Hannemann

There’s Power in Your Smile

Saturday, January 5th, 2019

We all have heard, “It takes fewer muscles to smile than frown.” Although there are conflicting opinions on the subject, I know I feel better when smiling as opposed to frowning.

Making the Case

We live in a world that is operating at warp speed. Everything now moves at internet speed. Personal contact is on the decline in our workplaces and is being replaced with the new norm – e-mail, live chats, Skype, and texting. I get it, I have had to adapt in my own business. Getting to see a customer face to face anymore is a rarity. My goal in life – trying to help make our world a better place – is becoming more difficult. But there is still time to smile with the people we interact with throughout our day. That was not a typo. I did write “smile with.”

The Connection

So now let me ask the question: How do you feel when someone smiles at you? I know I feel a little lighter and it elicits a smile in response, and I feel good! We all must engage people in our daily lives – work,  shopping, dining, recreation.  Even shut-ins have contact with care givers. So may I be so bold as to challenge you to be the leader?  Smile first!  Make sure it’s genuine. People instantly pick up on a forced smile. When you offer your smile, make eye contact and wait for the response. Connect – and smile with. When you offer a genuine smile, nine times out of ten, you will receive a genuine smile in return. Take it a bit further and make someone’s day memorable. Compliment the person on their smile and again be genuine. “You have a great smile.” Watch their eyes come alive as their spirits are lifted.

The Proof  

I have a couple of short stories regarding smiles: While working as a restaurant manager, I had the opportunity to oversee the waitstaff. One of my most efficient waitresses rarely smiled while taking orders. As it turned out, she was a bit shy and was mostly concerned about getting the patrons orders right. Well, she had the getting orders right down in spades! I complimented her on her efficiency and suggested she might relax a bit more. I told her, “You have a terrific smile, you should use it. It will help you relax and have more fun with the customers.” Over the following month I observed her progress. The customers began engaging her and she truly enjoyed them as well. Her tips increased too!

The second story is about the blessing I received three years ago on the ferry run to the island where my wife Yvonne and I live. I first noticed a woman ferry attendant directing traffic onto the boat. She always seemed to make eye contact with the drivers, flashing her lovely smile. One day, I stopped and rolled down my window and told her, “You have a beautiful smile and it blesses me every time I see it.” She lit up like a Christmas tree, and ever since, she begins waving to us as soon as she recognizes our car. We receive her blessing every time we see her.

The Icing  

I have learned three steps: be genuine, smile, and engage. Just last Sunday evening Yvonne and I walked into a restaurant with a full lobby of waiting customers. The hostess looked up and greeted us with a weary but genuine smile – “Welcome, how many?”  I told her we would seat ourselves in the bar. She thanked us, looking relieved, but still engaged us with her smile. Holding her gaze, I leaned over and told her, “You have a great smile – and beautiful eyes to match.” She brightened, her weariness vanished, and she said, “Sir, you have just made my day!”        

We have no idea where people may be in their life’s walk and your smile may be the one good thing someone may receive today. Bless everyone you meet. The secret of the smile is the connection – make the eye contact. Smile with someone and watch their eyes light up.  Make someone’s day a little bit better – or even memorable.

Stephen

Create a memorable today,

Stephen M. Hannamann –  © 2019. All rights reserved.

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »

Sunrise – Sunset

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

”Jason paused to turn his face into the warm August evening, looking to the west he saw a sky preparing to grace Elliott Bay with another postcard picture sunset. Wispy clouds had begun to gather, looking as if the hand of God had stretched cotton candy over the Olympics, a hint of color beginning to fill the palette. In another hour and a half the sky would be filled with color so varied and rich, artists of Fredrick Church’s abilities would struggle to replicate its splendor on canvas. Lingering with the door in his hand and taking in the view, he pondered and envied the genius of artists who have the tenacity to attempt such scenes.”

The preceding paragraph is an excerpt from my latest novel in process, and it reminded me once again of the many gifts we take for granted — or miss, as we move through our daily lives. If you have been following my essays, you know I like to focus on the plethora of gifts that go unappreciated or unrecognized while we travel along at warp speed in our attempts make our mark in life — or at least until we arrive at an age when we slow down enough to notice them. My quest is to help people begin to recognize some of what we miss at a younger age.

One of the gifts most often overlooked is the gift of wisdom. And why is it that more than any country in the world, we are comfortable with parking a great deal of our wisdom in rest homes? I remember several years ago being invited to my friend’s father’s 80th birthday celebration. At the party I had the privilege of meeting the birthday boy’s 103 year old sister. This delightful woman captivated me with her sparkling eyes and warm spirit. As a child, she had ridden in a horse drawn carriage, and as she grew, witnessed the inventions of the automobile, airplane, radio, television, and watched a man land on the moon. But her perspective of life and relationships impressed me the most. Listening to her, I felt as if I was seated at the feet of Plato or Socrates. What wisdom this beautiful, frail woman possessed! My encounter with her stimulated me to write this quote in a novel I was writing at the time, Death of a Warrior.

“Knowledge must be tempered with experience for wisdom to be born.”

By now you’re probably asking yourself what does this have to do with sunrises and sunsets? I believe God gives us each day as a reminder of the seasons — each day being a mini season of our life. The sunrise is the spring of our day, a fresh new beginning — the promiss of the new day and the gifts contain therein. Summer is the meat of the day, the part of the day when we get things done, and learn, and capitalize on new opportunities — the growing season. The sunset is the fall of the day, a time for reflection of what was good, opportunities taken, and opportunities missed — a time to muse about what we learned and what more we want to learn. Winter is when we sleep and rejuvinate our spirits and our bodies — and dream.

I live 30 miles north of Seattle. Not every day begins with a splendid sunrise and ends with a glorious sunset. But it is about what we make of what we’re given, our days. Our cloudy days are our opportunities, and if those circumstances seem too tough, it may be time to seek out the wisdom of the mature who live amog us. Trials and adverse situations temper us and make us stronger — and there lies the wisdom — knowing what to pick up, and what leave behind. Then in the sunset of our day we can reflect on why we are a better now than when we woke, and enter into the winter rest, and truly rest — satisfied.

Live well.

Stephen

© Stephen M. Hanneman – all rights reserved

Posted in Motivation | 2 Comments »

Continuous Improvement

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

I am a collector of quotations from inspired individuals. They stimulate me. They cause me to reflect on my life, to discern if I am living only for myself or the betterment of those around me.

I spent 12 years living alone after a marriage of 23 years. Don’t misunderstand, I dated and such, and had a business and social life, but I lived alone. It was a wonderful time of learning about myself, a time of reflection and great personal change. But things changed radically for me when I developed a desire to become an agent of change, to help others to have a happier and more fulfilling life. During that time I wrote my novel Death of a Warrior. In the story I came up with a quotation that had a profound impact on my life: “Knowledge must be tempered with experience for wisdom to be born.” Over time, I have learned learned the value of wisdom. In my opinion, it is a coveted gift, the most important next to human life. For how else do we learn to aid and help our fellow man to become better, to make our world a better place.

I no longer live alone. My wife Yvonne and I are rapidly approaching our 4th wedding aniversary and we mingle in many and varied groups. We find groups of people invigorating and I have found in monitoring my conversation that it’s about a 35/65 split, I listen more than I talk. It didn’t used to be that way, but I find now that I only speak when I have something productive or constructive to say. The rest of the time, I’m learning. Groups are our contact with humanity. It is interesting that the Bible is full of admonitions to be in fellowship, be in support of our brothers and sisters. As we inprove and become better individually, our circle of fellowship also becomes better, stronger and wider.

As I sit here banging away on my keyboard, I am reminded of our hunger for fellowship by the number of Facebook and Twitter sites, they are not, however, a good substitute for physical contact. Eye contact, reaching into the soul and connecting with one another is what is needed to build up our human family. So now, please allow me to leave you with a few parting quotations.

“A man who has all the answers probably isn’t listening.”
Jeffrey Gitomer

“Giving is the highest level of living.”
John C. Maxwell

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

“Life is an exciting business and most exciting when lived for others.”
Helen Keller

And finally:

“You have not lived today successfully unless you’ve done something for someone who can never repay you.”
John Bunion

Live well.

Stephen

© Stephen M. Hannemann – all rights reserved.

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »

The Gifts

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Although it has no bow on it, life is a gift. And in our lives, we are blessed with many gifts, and they too have no bows. Health, family, friends, these most often we take for granted — at least when we are young.

This last weekend, my wife Yvonne and I had the bittersweet privilege of being called to aid dear friends in an hour of need, for comfort, and support. Ray and Lori have been special friends of mine for 18 years, and of Yvonne’s from the time we began courting six years ago. We received a call from Ray on Friday evening, notifying us that Lori’s doctor had recommended hospice care following her final round of radiation for an inoperable tumor inside the vertebra of her upper neck. This was not the news we had hoped for. Lori and Ray have bravely battled Lori’s latest bout of demon cancer for over a year. This last tumor reared its head just two months ago, the week after her birthday.

This essay is not to expound on the ravages of cancer or the seemingly unfairness of life, but the gifts of the human spirit, a loving family, the bonds of friendship, and the beauty of love, particularly in circumstances that would seem ripe for justifiable anger.

An exhausted Ray greeted us at the door at 10:30 Saturday evening. In addition to working his computer consulting business, he has been single handedly caring for his bride who now faces the humbling experience of being totally dependant. Although Ray never asked, we knew he needed help. We turned in shortly after we arrived and were up early Sunday morning. For the first time in weeks Ray had the freedom to attend church.

Lori’s sister and husband, Arizona snowbirds, arrived on the scene the day before we did, and already had their fifth wheel nestled next to the house. Yvonne and I made breakfast and reacquainted ourselves with Lori’s sister Sondra and her husband Larry. It never occurred to me that it takes two people to take care of one who is incapacitated. Yvonne and Sondra disappeared at the sound of someone stirring, coming from Lori’s bedroom monitor. An hour later they reappeared with Lori in a wheelchair. Two months ago, Lori would have gotten herself up and wheeled herself into the kitchen and fed herself. But today we are where we are. Although Lori can barely communicate she is aware of everything going on around her and she misses nothing. She receives her care with a graceful dignity and the spirit of love and unity in the home is palpable presence.

I learned much in these past days. For me, this experience reinforced the importance of the family and friendship bond; the importance of not only staying in touch but being in touch. The importance of maintaining, taking time to make sure our relationships are vital, not just a, “hi, how are you?” but being invested. I saw Ray loving his wife in a way that I had never seen before and it made me want again to make sure my Yvonne knows every day that I love her more today than yesterday. It’s gratifying to know we both are stronger because of these last days. I learned no matter how many days we have left in life, we should count each one as a precious gift, and learn all we can, and give all we can. I learned life is about taking what comes and receiving the blessing, although it may be hidden. I found, I learn the most, and receive the greatest gifts during the hunt.

Live Well.

Stephen

© Stephen M. Hannemann — all rights reserved.

Posted in Motivation | 1 Comment »

Geese, the Teachers

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

A few weeks ago, I wrote two essays one about influence; another about membership. The two subjects are complimentary and, I believe, synonymous. The crux of my essay on influence is that we are all people of influence. Also in that essay, I pointed out, as brothers and sisters of the human race, we are all interconnected. The result should be a sense of community. In the essay regarding membership, I pointed out that we all have gifts and abilities. We are each unique. If our gifts and abilities are shared, again, the result should be a sense of community.

This essay is written for all of the people just like you and me who are members of an organization, club, church body, political party, or team at work that could use your gifts and talents. What is it that you love to do? What is it that you are comfortable doing? And what is it that you could do that would stretch your ability or talent? This essay is about improving and creating power. When we give and stretch, we improve and grow. When we give and stretch, our organization improves and gains strength. It’s the dynamic! It’s teamwork! It’s fostering a sense of community!

A few days ago, my sister emailed an article about the migration of Canadian geese. The article poignantly pointed out the uncanny instincts of why the geese fly in formation. I think I can safely say that we have all viewed a V of geese flying overhead at one time or another.

Here are some incredible facts: Geese fly in V formation because their wing strokes create an updraft, allowing the goose behind to expend less energy. When the lead goose becomes fatigued, the goose immediately behind rotates into the lead position. If a goose becomes disabled or sick, two geese will accompany the ailing goose down and stay with it until it regains strength, or dies. Then the two will either pick up another V, or fly in tandem, trading the lead, to catch the original V. Flying in formation allows geese to fly 71% farther, with less effort, than if flying alone. As a team, the geese behind, honk encouragement to the leaders. A team committed to one another, and a common goal, is more effective than the effort of one.

Which goose are you – do you fly with the V, or do you fly alone?

Live well.

Stephen

© Stephen M. Hannemann – all rights reserved.

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »

Membership

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

Recently, I attended a Toastmasters Leadership Institute, TLI. Twice yearly, Toastmasters International hosts training sessions for incoming and existing club officers. I joined Toastmasters two and a half years ago to hone my speaking skills. While the organization has helped me accomplish my goal, the purpose of this essay is not to extol the virtues of Toastmasters but the virtues of “membership” – investing in relationships.

Most of us join a group or an organization to derive some benefit such as networking, learning, fellowship etc. and that is normal. However, I find it interesting the term “membership” is of biblical origin, the apostle Paul describes being a “member” as a vital organ of a living body. Now, I understand he described membership in the context of the Church, but the objective I would like to follow are the words “vital organ.” When we join an organization or group, we expect to derive a benefit, but we also bring our personality, abilities and gifts into the body. When we share those attributes, not only does the group flourish, but we flourish as well.

Several things happen when we become involved in membership. I prefer to call it a dynamic. I believe, the first and most important is relationships are formed. The second is we expend positive energy, thereby strengthening others and ourselves in the process. Third, a synergy develops, causing the vitality of the membership to flourish exponentially. The three comprise the dynamic. I realize this is an over simplification, nevertheless it does work. We all receive from others, we all give of ourselves, and we all become stronger.

– Relationship
– Positive energy
– Synergy
= Dynamic

I used Toastmasters as an example. Another example would be a band. One of my favorite groups is Acoustic Alchemy. The “members” of Acoustic Alchemy all contribute to the performance. In their practices, they challenge one another by bringing fresh ideas to the group and then honing them. Each practice they become a little better as individual musicians and as a group by feeding off of one another. It is what gives them their longevity.

The same principle applies to any organization be it a club, church, a team at work or a relationship. When you receive mentoring or invest yourself as a member, everyone wins. Especially you, because there is no greater satisfaction in life than knowing that you either learned or improved in some way, or facilitated improvement in someone else or a membership body. And that is the purpose of this essay. It’s about being better – a little better when you go to bed tonight than you were when you woke this morning.

Live well.

Stephen

© Stephen M. Hannemann – all rights reserved.

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »

Better Today

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

I spend a fair amount of time reading, about 50/50 between novels for stimulation and pleasure, and books for self improvement. For me, both genres are for pleasure because I enjoy and learn from both. I am a believer in continuous personal growth.

My favorite author is Robert James Waller, most noted for The Bridges of Madison County. His writing style is nearly lyrical. His words flow like a quiet stream around moss covered rocks in a contemplative garden. For me, his books don’t come often enough. Currently, I’m rereading High Plains Tango for the second time. The story centers around a semi-reclusive young craftsman named Carlisle McMillan. I ran across a line in his story that struck a chord with me and I think should be the mantra for everyone’s life. In the paragraph, Carlisle is a lad of 12 years, and in this particular sentence the author mused Carlisle’s philosophy: “It had always seemed to him that after living another twenty-four hours, you ought to be a better person than you were when the day began.”** What a tremendous perspective to have in one’s life at a young age. Granted it’s only a story but what a great message in those few words.

Our first tendency after taking that thought to heart would be to look at a weakness in our life and try to fix it. I’m not sure that was the point. Not that if we have a bad habit we shouldn’t strive to correct it. But Carlisle wanted to become a craftsman and learn to build things that would last. He possessed an inherent aptitude, then nourished it by becoming an apprentice to a master craftsman. He wasn’t happy with his condition and took steps to change his circumstances.

Only you know what subtle or maybe not so subtle urgings are gnawing within you. Oh here comes that word again. Take action. Take some steps to follow those urgings. When we nurture those urges, we become better and some of the other noise in our lives either disappears or no longer matters. Or maybe your life is perfect and nothing you could do would make it better. If that is true in your life, revel in your good fortune and share it with someone in your life who could use a bit of encouragement. Everyone has a God given talent or gift. Share it and make everyone you come in contact with each day feel special. There is no greater joy than having a positive impact in someone’s life. Life is a grand journey and each day, as we navigate our way along, we should be a bit more fulfilled, a bit stronger – a little bit – “better today” than when we woke.

Create a memorable day…

Stephen

Stephen M. Hannemann – © 2009 all rights reserved

** High Planes Tango by Robert James Waller © 2005, publisher Shaye Areheart Books.

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »

Morning Walks

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

On one of my morning walks a while back, I remembered marveling at God’s creation. I see Him in creation everywhere, from the earth that nourishes the grasses, flowering shrubs and trees, to His breath of life in every living creature. Walking down our country road I am warily watched by birds, rabbits, coyotes, and deer as I take them in along the way. To see the waters of Puget Sound and witness the glory of a sunrise over the North Cascades is truly breathtaking and I feel privileged to walk in the midst of it all. Of course, it’s spring again and the fragrances and colors always put me on sensory overload.

Every morning I walk past a farmer’s field and this year I had the good fortune to witness two of five calves birthed. What a gift – to observe life emerging. The field and cattle brought a fleeting memory of the dairy field behind the property where I grew up in Portland, Oregon. Actually we moved well outside of Portland on a rural road when I was two years old. By the time I left home to marry and start a family, our home was well inside the city limits. The farm, dairy, and nursery land had been swallowed by tract homes.

A bit farther along in my morning walk, along a side hill plateau, then down a shady country lane, I came upon a scattering of alder cones in the road. I bent down to collect one and found myself catapulted back in time. Back where the rear boundary of our property joined our neighbor’s dairy field. Alder, maple, scrub hazelnuts and other brush grew along the border, the location of my secret fort. I held the small object in my hand, once again a six year old. I examined the intricate structure of nature and remembered my days filled with awe at the discovery of new bits of nature.

After recovering from my reverie, I began to wonder if technology and urban sprawl have done away with a part of life that we and future generations will never retrieve. I can’t help but feel sad that our youth have, in a sense, become desensitized to the marvels of creation. Plastic toys, video games, cartoons of Transformers and metallic super heroes are some of the first things to which our children are exposed. Don’t misunderstand, I am not against progress, but I think our offspring may be losing the appreciation of substance. I believe the parents and educators of today are faced with the challenge of how to bring our young people into contact with the wonder, awe, and appreciation of nature and creation.

In our fast paced, mechanized and electronic world it becomes increasingly difficult to challenge and stimulate our youths’ imaginations. I don’t claim to have the answers. I am barely smart enough to ask the questions. For myself, I do realize that the memories I experienced that long ago morning, although wonderful, are difficult to insert into the hyperactive minds of today. It is not possible to turn back the clock on our youth. But I do believe we must be wise stewards in how we get ahead of the progress curve in relation to rearing our young. At first blush, it seems incongruous to try and see a relationship between our technology and nature and creation. But it’s not. I think, more than ever, relationship must be a bigger part of daily life. Nurturing, mentoring, influencing by example – one on one – are ways to inspire the minds of our young people. Slowing a bit – setting an example of reverence for the beauty of nature and all creation would be a start. That’s easy for me to say as I look out of my office window and see a green forest. Or view Possession Sound with the backdrop of the North Cascades from my morning prayer nook. However, the attitude of reverence for nature and creation can be fostered in any environment, urban or rural. Every city has its parks, sidewalk plantings and garden shops. An excursion to the closest zoo can be an exciting experience for children or people of all ages. I consider myself in the first category.

A friend and long time educator shared a comment that rang true as we discussed this challenge. He said, “We have had a fundamental shift in our culture and it is what it is.” That statement enlightened me. We will continue to progress and that is good for all of us. The key is not to get so wrapped up in the technology and so fast-paced in our jobs that we lose sight of our home planet and the marvels of nature and creation. In the midst of all the turmoil and crises in our country and the world, there is still time for reflection on the earth upon which we walk and the marvels of what it produces. It is where sound relationship and one on one mentoring must have a place of prominence in our culture. Hence the commitment for us, the persons of influence.

Create a Memorable Day.

Stephen

Stephen M. Hannemann – © 2009 All rights reserved.

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »

Influence

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

We seldom think about influence. We see people who we deem “influential” but rarely think of influence in terms of ourselves. Allow me to add a bit of perspective. We are all persons of influence.

One morning many years ago, “Good Morning America” had invited an astronaut to preview a new book, a collection of photographs taken from outer space by American astronauts and Russian cosmonauts. Every year they would gather in Switzerland and share experiences, information and photographs. The book, titled The Home Planet, showcased their collection of spectacular photographs. During the interview, the astronaut made a profound comment while one of his images of Earth filled my television screen. His statement went something like this; “As I took this photo, I was filled with the irrefutable knowledge that a supreme being created the planet before me. I could see it in its entirety from my vantage point in space. In that moment I knew I was viewing the home of the human family. And as human beings, we are all interconnected in such a way that anything we do will affect all of humanity in some way.” I sat awestruck by the power of his statement. Unfortunately, at nearly age 50, I did not have the maturity to do anything with it.

We have been given a grand opportunity with the gift of life. If you are a fairly normal human being, you don’t often enough think about this gift or the influence you have on your brothers and sisters. You may think you have no influence at all.

You are wrong.

I love watching my wife Yvonne. She blesses me more than she will ever know. I love introducing her to others because of their response to her. They delight in her and respond and mirror her gregarious spirit. She influences people without being aware of it. And they remember, without knowing their day is better for the experience.

As a writer and speaker, I have also become a fulltime observer. I observe the little things that influence others. I do this because my latest goal in life is to pick up the thread the astronaut spoke about nearly 20 years ago. My goal is to share what I observe and learn with my family – the family of humanity – and in some small way, make my family healthier and happier. Sometimes I observe unhappy people, negative and sarcastic, and I witness the atmosphere deteriorate around them. I refuse to let them have a negative effect on me. As I have learned from Yvonne, “Why waste your energy?” I’ve witnessed how prolonged exposure to negativity erodes a happy spirit and energy.

Yvonne and I live on an island and we often ride the ferry together. Once in a while we come across a ferry booth worker who is grumpy for one reason or another. That’s when I bet Yvonne I can make him or her smile. I have to be quick, because generally, there is a line behind us of people trying to get to work. I am pretty good at getting grumpy people to smile. And Yvonne will always take my bet and is always happy to lose.

I am very fortunate in that I recently received some feedback from someone who heard a brief talk I gave. It moved her to take action. She had contemplated an issue for some time and grieved that nothing was being done about it. A one or two minute portion of my talk stimulated her to take action. I can’t deny how gratifying it is when you learn you’ve had an influence in someone’s life. It is rare you get the feedback.

With certainty, I can tell you that you do influence others, and you will influence others in the future. Count on it. A simple smile, a cheerful greeting, a helping hand, opening a door, all just little things, but they make a difference. Bigger opportunities will come and they are continually in front of all of us. Let’s not fail to recognize them. They may come disguised as Commitment.

Remember, the most powerful influence of all is love. Love your self. Love your life. Love your family. And in loving others, you will be an influence.

Live well.

Stephen

© Stephen M. Hannemann – All rights reserved

Posted in Motivation | No Comments »